So there I was doing my weekly water color with my left-over deep fried PB & sardine sandwich, when I looked up and saw the 9-legged half bull/half panda alien with an octopus made of fire for a head. He was roller-skating around the abandoned golf course playing his klezmer cover of “inna godda davida” on his triple neck steam-powered banjo.
Not sure this story is gonna get more awesomer than this.
So there I was somewhere in northern mindanao when crocapotamus came crawling out of the flood waters into my restaurant where he ordered 5 hurricanes, paid in cash, and then hailed down a motorella with all different wheels consisting of a wagon wheel, mototcycle wheel, and a roller skate. True story...except when crocapotamus saw that there was a klezmer jam session going on at the golf course he quickly whipped his trusty "zamphir" style pan flute and rocked the organ solo proudly. From my vantage point I could only see some NPA bandits co mingling wondering if they should ambush or head back to the mountains. The smell of sardines filled the air...only to attrach sea gullapotamus...(dondon dooon)the show down...
ReplyDeleteSo there I was standing in utter disbelief. Could this really actually finally really actually be happening to me? It was just like my old wongk fu master, master wongk, had prophesized that it would happen. All of the pieces were now finally in place. And here of above all places. I could hardly contain my deep friend PB & sardine sandwich induced excitement. I grabbed up my collapsible travel pocket slide-tuba choir hip waders and prepared for battle. I still couldn’t believe it. I mean pan flutes, bandits AND the ever feared gullapotamus? It was as if I had single-handedly won the Louisiana powerball lottery of bad luck. I should’ve listened more closely to master Wongk’s teachings…and I shouldn’t eaten those roasted red olives. They always made me a little gassy. I kneeled and broke down my subconscious into it’s primary components; Id, Ego, SuperEgo, MechaEgo, Winnab-Ego, and Rufus Jupiter. We devised an amazing assault platform of dodges and misdirection b4 we realized that we only had the one body and all us had gotten a D+ on Master Wongk’s astralprojection seminar. I realized that it was up to just us…but all in one body, so I constructed a morningstar out of some nearby lawn furniture, yelled, “Spork!!!!!!” and dashed into battle. I had no idea of what perils lay ahead…but then again those perils had no idea about me either…
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