2 issues

So today I have 2 issues on which I’d like to touch. The first is an ideological question. And the 2nd is a bit of…“hope against hope” advice. As always, responses are welcome.

Issue 1:
I can justify why the chicken crossed the road, but seriously what exactly were “ all the king’s horses” hoping to add to the Humpty Dumpty rescue effort? Were they like the 1st responders on the scene? Were they there for crowd control?
I'm not trying to incur the wrath of equine rights groups, but I'm guessing that the lack of opposable thumbs made reconstructive manipulation a bit dodgey for them. I feel a t-shirt design coming on… details to come soon.

Issue 2:
The other day I was thinking. And when I was thinking, I thought about this thing that I'm about to tell you. It may be useful to somebody at some point.
Now, I hope that this information is not something that many people would ever really HAVE to find useful, but just in case I’ll pass it on.
If (due to either some happening of your own devising or just because the fates have aligned against you) you ever find yourself in a situation where you have to best/outdo/beat/conquer the devil or some other supernatural being of malice in order to save something (your eternal soul/ your friends & family/ the planet/ a half panda-half koala bear cub or whatever) then there is only one thing I would suggest.
Say this, “I challenge to a contest to lose everything. And if you are not successful, then you have to return to me everything that I lost during the contest and in the way that I request it.”
This may seem counter-intuitive at first, but when you think it through…either the supernatural being doesn’t successfully lose everything and has to return everything to you or (for a bit) it does think that it was successful. But then u inform it that if it was successful, then it just won something, thus making it no longer successful of losing everything and therefore it has to return things to you.
It’s a risky and gutsy move, but I'm gonna image that if you’re in a situation like this, your options are probably not the most ideal.
So there ya go. I hope u never need this info, but if you do…there ya go.