What? dreams may come...

The following is an incomplete list of things that comprise the major topics touched upon in my dream last night:

Screendoors

How U.S. embassies in non-combatant countries handle irrational citizens reporting low-level emergencies.

Competitive indoor long-distance swimming

The behind-the-scenes lives of professional make-up artists working in the adult film industry

How Asian female body guards keep in shape and how their mindset can affect the emotional state of their male relatives who’re dealing with uncertainty in their current committed relationships.

Sights that might be seen if visiting a covered (yet fully vegetated) foot-ball field sized arboretum courtyard entrance to a building that is part shopping mall, part studio apartments, and part shooting range

People who hate screendoors (unrelated to prior topic)

How to choose a tire repair service technician when you’re in a town unfamiliar to you and just as you get a flat, you notice that there are 2 of these type places right across the street from one another and they seem to be operated by feuding relatives.

The step by step guide to rising in popularity by systematically disliking things that those around you speak of disliking

This is about 1/3 of the things that actually filled the dream (I just can’t clearly remember more of them at this point) and the linear timeline of the dream jumped around touching on these topics like a spastic Frogger icon.

So...what did YOU dream about?

2 issues

So today I have 2 issues on which I’d like to touch. The first is an ideological question. And the 2nd is a bit of…“hope against hope” advice. As always, responses are welcome.

Issue 1:
I can justify why the chicken crossed the road, but seriously what exactly were “ all the king’s horses” hoping to add to the Humpty Dumpty rescue effort? Were they like the 1st responders on the scene? Were they there for crowd control?
I'm not trying to incur the wrath of equine rights groups, but I'm guessing that the lack of opposable thumbs made reconstructive manipulation a bit dodgey for them. I feel a t-shirt design coming on… details to come soon.

Issue 2:
The other day I was thinking. And when I was thinking, I thought about this thing that I'm about to tell you. It may be useful to somebody at some point.
Now, I hope that this information is not something that many people would ever really HAVE to find useful, but just in case I’ll pass it on.
If (due to either some happening of your own devising or just because the fates have aligned against you) you ever find yourself in a situation where you have to best/outdo/beat/conquer the devil or some other supernatural being of malice in order to save something (your eternal soul/ your friends & family/ the planet/ a half panda-half koala bear cub or whatever) then there is only one thing I would suggest.
Say this, “I challenge to a contest to lose everything. And if you are not successful, then you have to return to me everything that I lost during the contest and in the way that I request it.”
This may seem counter-intuitive at first, but when you think it through…either the supernatural being doesn’t successfully lose everything and has to return everything to you or (for a bit) it does think that it was successful. But then u inform it that if it was successful, then it just won something, thus making it no longer successful of losing everything and therefore it has to return things to you.
It’s a risky and gutsy move, but I'm gonna image that if you’re in a situation like this, your options are probably not the most ideal.
So there ya go. I hope u never need this info, but if you do…there ya go.

ish i think is cool 7.11.11 edition

So today i've been watching the first season of a show call The Boondocks. It's been around for a while (I think they might be on season 4 now) but I've just started it. If you have any qualms about ethnicity relations being explored in a unapologetically un-PC way, then this is probably not the show for you. How ever, it is extremely funny if you can get past that. A few of the character names have made me laugh out loud; (Col. H. Stinkmeaner, Gangstalicious and A Pimp Named Slickback just to name a a couple).
It's not only the Character names that have made me laugh out loud but some of the dialog. I'd like to now share with you some of my favorites so far:

Huey: I got an idea - why don't we go to college so we don't end up like Gangstalicious? 
~~~
Riley: It's like going to heaven and finding God smoking crack. 
~~~~
Cristal: The name's Cristal, you know like the Champagne. 
Huey Freeman: Cristal, that sounds like a stripper name. Might you be a stripper, Cristal like the champagne? 
Cristal: And what would you know about strippers little man? 
Huey Freeman: Not much, but I do know they're usually named after liquor.
~~~~
Ed Wuncler: It smells like hot Armpit on wheat bread.

However the thing that made me post this...um...posting was a reading of 2 proposed “dishes” from the menu for a restaurant called “The ITIS” :
Sausage and waffles and fried chicken breakfast lasagna
and
Bacon wrapped chitlins stuffed catfish

The rest just needs to be seen.

Ears on fire! 7.6.11 edition

First of all I’d like to thank the good people over at “Kevin Bourgeois” for initially directing me to the A.V.Club’s video page by posting a link of TMBG performing a Chumbawumba ditty. In case you don’t know about this whole thing, (admittedly I hadn’t up until then), the A.V.Club has a list of 25 songs that people submitted. Then 25 different bands come in and choose a song off the list to perform live in the A.V.Club’s office. Once a song has been performed, it get crossed off the list and cannot be chosen by a later band. So as things progress there are less and less songs from which to choose.
The TMBG performance was once of those. And they nailed it by bringing in what I guess was the entire office staff to belt out the mob chant of “I get knocked down!” on the choruses. You can see that video by following this link [http://www.avclub.com/articles/they-might-be-giants-covers-chumbawamba,53068/ ].
After rocking out to this vid, I perused some of the other vids (including some from the previous year) and was glad that I did. Some of the other incrediblastic covers included : Of Montreal doing White Stripes; Coheed and Cambria covering the Smiths; Rise Against doing Nirvana; and Ben Folds intimate tribute to Elliott Smith.
As awesome as all of these were, the one performance that prompted me to lay fingertips to keyboard and has been dominating half of my recent listening (we’ll get to the other half in a sec) was that of Wye Oak’s take on the Danzig sonic juggernaut, “Mother”. Just go and bear witness [http://www.avclub.com/articles/wye-oak-covers-danzig,53066/ ]. Wye Oak was a band that knew little about, but you can be sure that I’ll seek out more from them in the near future.
Now the other half of my recent listening has been pretty packed with music by somebody with whom I'm far more familiar. And yes I am of course speaking of Darryl Jenifer who you might know as the towering bassist of groundbreaking punk-rastas Bad Brains. Well he’s releasing a new solo album entitled, “In Search of Black Judas.” Visit his page [http://www.darryljenifer.com/ ] to hear the 2 tracks I'm been loving so much and to see everything else that Darryl and his big green bass has been up to.

Ubon’s Built-in Bacon Burgers

A few weeks ago, Leslie “The Barbeque Princess” Roark Scott asked people to submit recipes they had that used Ubon’s sauce. Today I submitted this one. Its product is both delicious and relevant for the day.

Ubon’s Built-in Bacon Burgers

Ingredients:
Ubon’s dipping sauce
A coupla big handfuls of your favorite flavorful chips
Coupla lbs of ground meat
Real bacon bits (not bacos)

The do:
Dump the ground meat into a large bowl. Then bag up the chips. I suggested “flavorful” chips because you’ll be using them as breadcrumbs, hence you’ll want something that’s gonna add something to the overall dish as well as performing the breadcrumb task. I use wavy lays ranch, but use whatever u like. After bagging the chips, pulverize them until they resemble breadcrumbs. Then dump them into the bowl as well. Mix things up a bit until the bread crumbs are pretty integrated. Pour in a little Ubon’s. Keep mixing. Dump in the bacon bits (chopped up leftovers from breakfast are ideal but not mandatory) add a little more Ubon’s. Mix well until all components are integrated into a mostly uniform consistency. Form patties. Grill or otherwise cook until tasty perfection. I grilled mine and topped them with some Ubon’s after the first flip.
Enjoy!

Get more info about Ubon’s by visiting the following links:
http://www.ubons.blogspot.com/
http://www.facebook.com/ubons

ish i think is cool 7.2.11 edition

the allwhere netherverse is a great big wet dangerous world of twisting cypress trunks, flat bottomed boats, treble hooks and fierce alligators ready to snap into your… wait…no, wait… I'm sorry. I was just having a Swamp People flashback. But, the net is pretty scary too.

Now I shall attempt to infotain you with a scraping of some of the creamiest gems I’ve tripped, skipped and stumbled upon here in the last (insert time unit of choice here). I hope that you enjoy them as much as I have.
I’ll get started with a sampling of eye-candy for your ears. I happened across live performances by some pretty well-known bands preforming some pretty well-known songs by some pretty well-known other bands and performing them well, pretty well themselves.
The first up is this vid [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nTo8rjo-lM ] it’s Weezer performing Radiohead’s “paranoid android’. I think they pretty much nailed it. Makes you wonder what else they could peg. Maybe some Peeping Tom or Godsmack? If anybody knows them personally please pass the idea on to them. But tell ‘em I sentcha!

A while back I saw a vid of Arcade Fire performing their sonic masterpiece “Wake Up” live with the ever-awesomer David Bowie on lead vocals. I didn’t think I’d ever see a more (pardon the pun) fiery rendition than that performance. Then I came across a vid of that song being elevated by the phenomenal 1-2 punch of John Legend with the Legendary Roots Crew. Good Gravy!!!! WHEW! See it here > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKXKJc5DmT4 ] If you’d like to get some more of the magic that happens when JL sits in with the Roots, then stop by here [http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=130070018 ] and listen to them performing live on NPR’s World Café program. It’s definitely worth the drive over. Their take on “Hard Times” was looping on my phone for several days.

Now, if you prefer your pretty-well-known people-related awesomity to be chock fulla funny, then u need to head on over to Nice Peter’s YouTube channel [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHRxv-40WMU&feature=list_related&playnext=1&list=SP505BA1F19CCEF7C2 ] and watch a few of the “epic rap battles of history” spots. I can almost guarantee that something there will make you laugh. I started off with #3 (Abe Lincoln vs. Chuck Norris) but you can begin with any of them.

The netherverse is packed full of useful information. Ok, it’s packed full of..umm…er…nevermind. let’s just say that it’s packed. This being said, whenever I need to know the real deal about something, I don’t go to Wikipedia (well sometimes I do) no sirreebob, I go to the speaker of truth. I go to askaninja.com because he dispenses knowledge that you can really use in life. For instance, someone named, “lowfatjellydoughnut” asked him about ninja –proofing their soon to be arriving child’s nursery. Check out the golden nuggets he offered to them here > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQIACotUzvY&feature=youtube_gdata ] and you can take that to the bank.

The last bit of ish that I think is cool for this edition is a response from my cousin-in-law when I jokingly asked about having a party at their soon to be finished home. It went a little something like this:

“ME: so....what bands are playing the house warming bar-b-q music festival and fireworks weekend spectacular? and i just mean what headliners...not the local opening bands.

Him: Mudhoney is going on first, but they're doing nothing but Tony Orlando & Dawn covers.
Mike Patton will debut his 45-minute interpretive dance entitled, "Jonathan Livingston Alka-Seltzer."
We'll wrap the evening up with a Minnie Pearl look-a-like contest and ferret chariot racing, set to the golden sounds of Deerhoof performing, "The Smash Hits of Falcon Crest: Vol. IV."

Wow…

So until next time…